The other the same

It seems as though I’ve seen a lot of people dying recently. Dying as a verb – breath gasping, limbs seizing, guts retching; dying as a noun – interrupted, ventilated, brain dead. After all this time in hospitals – the medical student in the corner witnessing silentlyish the tragicomic human mess – I wonder what I’ll feel when it’s me or my loved ones. Will I feel it for real, or will it seem second-hand, as if I’m remembering something I saw once in a film?

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