Some innate learning

Adventures have been few and far between recently. There are neuroscience and immunology exams coming up in a week and life is condensing again into a pile of books and a wistful glimpse of sky. Here are some learnings from the last five months.

1. Medicine does become less weird. I haven’t lost the ability to find a body sexy – luckily – and I’m not being crippled every five minutes by existential questions, which is always helpful.

2. Needle phobia seems to be curable, and certainly not the obstacle I might have thought. I’m looking forward to the next time I stick a needle in someone, which is a bit weird.

3. Procrastination is not curable. If anything, increasing years have provided me with new and ever-more creative ways of not doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I have baked more cakes, watched more online TV and spent more time daydreaming than you would think reasonably possible.

4. So much for being driven to achieve great things. After all the warnings about hard work, the main thing holding me back is how much I miss my friends and old life. I miss them so much. So much. I don’t really know what to do about it.

5. It is apparently possible to pass a medical exam with a scarily minimal actual comprehension of the subject matter.

6. The lump in my neck/pain in my stomach/breathlessness/tiredness/strange cough is 1% real, 4% misery induced and 95% to do with whichever textbook I’ve just been reading.

7. Even if you’ve only been a medical student for a day, total strangers will take their clothes off in front of you. And answer the most personal questions imaginable, and cry, and pour out their hearts.

And is it worth it? Don’t ask me that.

A little while ago I sat as the sun came up and took this photo. How can one life be so good, and then also so hard?