The mechanic

Sitting back after dinner, I listen to you describing the details of your latest legal case, and watch him explaining his new political campaign. And I think of yesterday, when I put my finger in that woman’s rectum.

And I wonder, not for the first time: am I saving lives? Or am I holding the fort: lifting the bonnet and carrying out essential repairs, so that people like you can save them?


6 thoughts on “The mechanic

  1. Don’t be too harsh on running repairs. If everyone focuses on getting society to the promised land (whoa massive mixed metaphor alert), lots of people don’t survive the journey. Keeping the engine running (largely done by one arm or another of the NHS) has enabled me to eventually end up in a significantly better place where I think otherwise I would have spiralled out of control altogether; and the ‘holding the fort’ of managing type 1 diabetes literally saves my life daily – a cure may be decades away but I’d be dead long before that without the stopgap of managing the currently incureable.

    • Of course you’re right, and I’m delighted to join the people helping to keep you going so you can save the world in your own way! And I do question the ‘point’ of my daily activities far less these days than when I used to just rewrite the Oxfam organogram constantly. Perhaps I’m just aware that doctors are sometimes revered in a way that is unrealistic – we all have our own part to play and who is to say which matters or contributes more. Actually I’d hate to be some famous person’s doctor. Imagine being the doctor to Obama, or Michael Jackson… oh… exactly. Also, this train of thought occasionally leads to uncomfortable ones, such as ‘if I’m helping to keep people alive, isn’t this the same as aiding people to destroy the planet/overpopulate/kill animals/commit mass atrocities/?’.

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